Less Stress Planning & Pleasing

I once heard someone say that the most relaxed brides before the wedding end up being the most stressed brides on the day of the wedding.  Their argument was that those brides hadn’t really finalized a lot of their decisions before the Big Day, so a battery of vendors positing a barrage of questions requiring on the spot answers resulted in a stressed-out bride.  On the other extreme, I’ve worked with brides who have planned their events to such detail that they are married to their idea of the wedding day and there isn’t any room for error, spontaneity or for the groom!  No photographer or filmmaker can improve a pinched smile and stressed face, so what is a bride to do?

There are 2 things you can do to ensure you enjoy your wedding day.  1. Plan ahead.   2. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks (your mother included).

napkins on the side! photo by Stephanie Bridgewater.
Napkins on the side! Photo by Stephanie Bridgewater

Remember that relaxed bride?  She was so easy-going she never thought about whether the napkins would go in the glass or on the plate.   She didn’t count on boutonnieres for the ring boy and ushers, and now her sister-in-law is looking for them everywhere (they don’t exist).   This is the bride whose easy-going attitude is being sabotaged on the very day she needs it most. Deferring all those decisions will rack up a lot of little stresses on the wedding day that will turn your smile into a frown.  Plan these details out in advance so you don’t have to worry about them when you’re supposed to be having fun.

Then there’s the bride who has everything planned to the second.  Her timeline is biblical, because she’s scheduled everything from bathroom breaks to when the lights are turned down.   This bride has become overwrought and overrun by her wedding.  Chances are, it’s because a lot of people are telling her that unless she does x, then y and z will be upset, unimpressed, insulted, etc.  Now, she is worried about pleasing everyone.  Remember that a wedding day is about starting a committed romantic life publicly and employing the support of family and friends in this new union and new chapter.  If they are requiring your support on the day you need theirs, people are going to be disappointed.  Know that you have taken everyone’s input into consideration and planned an event that will address the needs of as many people as possible.  On the day of, enjoy the fruits of your labors and let others worry about the rest.

Through advanced planning and remembering to be pleased by your wedding day and not spend it pleasing others, you can ensure that your big day involves the least amount of stress.  And that’s going to look great in your photos and video!

Holiday Weddings

This time of year, when love and peace are being celebrated, seems such a fitting time of year to attend a wedding.  I know it’s hard to imagine adding yet another social event to an already packed holiday schedule, but if you can swing it, there’s something especially romantic and life-affirming about love and marriage in the snow and cold.

We’ve filmed two weddings this week and it’s been a real treat.  I’ll try to post a video sample soon so you can see what we’ve been up to.  In the meantime, here’s a little Holiday Wedding cheer from an event a few seasons past.  Happy holidays!

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Happy Anniversary Bride & Groom!

Originally posted October 20, 2009

Working in special events is always special, so it’s hard to argue that any event can preempt that experience and be ‘more special’.  That said, it’s always nice to attend a work related special event where we’re not actually working with camera in hand!  A couple of weeks ago I attended Washingtonian’s one year anniversary party for their oh-so-fabulous new magazine, Washingtonian Bride & Groom.  

To say it was a collection of some of the most talented people working in the wedding industry is an understatement.  It was also a collection of some of our favorite people to work with, so it was a real pleasure to be there.  Washingtonian featured some fun images of the party on their website and I’ve included a couple of shots here.  Congratulations to the staff at Bride & Groom for their excellence in work and for celebrating their first year anniversary!  Well done!

Haynal Papp (Dolce Studio FIlms) & Andrea Jacobson (The Observatory)
Ray Bialek (Bialek's Music), Haynal Papp (Dolce Studio Films) and Ed Witles (The Elegant DJ).

Should I Cut Video From My Budget?

Originally posted September 23, 2009

In tougher times it can feel wrong to splurge on a wedding.  Brides and grooms look over the long list of expenses and wonder how much is enough?  The truth of the matter is that people get married regardless of whether it’s the Roaring Twenties or The Great Depression.  The economy of love never intersects with Wall Street.  As such, today’s couples are still getting married, but today’s brides may be feeling guilty for wanting to spend money on a dream wedding.   One of the areas in which they may consider cutting back that budget is on the filming of the event.  A memory lasts a lifetime, after all.  But cutting video can be a decision you may live to regret, and here’s why.

Haynal's Great Grandparents

Most of those couples married in the Roaring Twenties and during the Great Depression had their wedding photograph taken.  At the time, it was to great expense and was the height of technological advancement.  I have my own tattered copies of relatives long since passed whose fresh flowers and wedding finery have long since disintegrated and yet, there in the sepia outline, in the faintest shadow of recorded light, I see my daughter’s chin.   For this reason, these photographs become family heirlooms.  What I would not give to be able to see a film of those long ago friends and relatives.  To see how they moved, how they danced and laughed, to hear their voices and their declarations of love.  To see myself in someone I have never met.  This is my personal reason for wishing there were films of these long ago celebrations.  But there are still others to consider.

When you are hosting the most expensive party you are ever going to have and it is the only time in your lifetime that all the people you care most about are gathered in one place together, wearing their best clothes and fullest smiles, it is truly a waste not to have a way to go back and see the fruits of your labors when you can best enjoy them: in the peace and quiet of your living room.  A wedding day flies by with such tension and speed that it is over before you know it.  All those details you spend months planning are unseen by your eyes the day of, when you enter each room last and move through the final hours in autopilot.  Your cheeks will hurt from smiling and your stomach will be growling with hunger by the time the speeches start up.  It’s really hard to remember what actually happened and what things really looked like.  Case in point: the day after my wedding I was bemoaning the fact that I didn’t dance more at my own wedding.  After watching my video, I realized I had danced with nearly every guest and for a large part of the night.  It was all just too much to remember.

While photographs take a moment and elevate that moment to the status of art, you can never hear your father’s voice again in a photograph.  You can’t see the way your mom danced or show your own child how your favorite grandma laughed.  It won’t take years for you to regret not having a video.  The regrets will start the day after the wedding.

Social Double Header

Originally posted September 16, 2009

Last night I donned my pencil skirt and heels and hit the town to attend not one, but TWO industry parties!  First I attended the ISES 2009-2010 Launch Party at The W Hotel on 15th St. in DC.  Afterwards, I jetted over to The Knot Wedding Network’s Industry Networking Event at The Historical Society of Washington DC, a few blocks away near Mount Vernon Square.  Other than feeling very “Sex & the City” in my social prowess, I also had a great time connecting with the people who share in the experience of working special events.

Left to right: Lisa Schulz, Jamie Sears, Stephanie Ascari, Haynal Papp, Terri Eaves
Left to right: Lisa Schulz, Jamie Sears, Stephanie Ascari, Haynal Papp, Terri Eaves

It’s a rare thing to be able to chat breezily with coordinators, photographers, florists, site managers and caterers.  All of us are in high-speed work mode at events and can rarely discuss more than the schedule or logistics.  Last night we were able to connect, reminisce and make future plans.  It was fun!

A special shout out to some of the people who make our workday easier:

Coordinators: Jamie Sears at Simply Chic Events, Terri Eaves at Bash, Vicky Choy at Event Accomplished, Lisa Schulz at The Posh Planner

Photographers: Andrea Jacobson of The Observatory, Stephanie Ascari of Cleverly Candid,  Sandi Foraci of Sandi Foraci Photography,  Greg Gibson of Greg Gibson Photography and Amie Otto of Amie Otto Photography

Event Sites:  Alison Okobi of The Hay-Adams and Susan Gruskin of The St. Regis

Entertainment: Chris Laich of Chris Laich Music Services

It was great seeing you last night!

left to right: Haynal Papp, Greg Gibson, Chris Laich
left to right: Haynal Papp, Greg Gibson, Chris Laich
left to right: Haynal Papp, Andrea Jacobson, Amie Otto, Vicky Choy
left to right: Haynal Papp, Andrea Jacobson, Amie Otto, Vicky Choy

Rainy Day Weddings: Why Your Video Won’t be Ruined

Originally posted Sept 9, 2009

I’m looking out my window on a gloomy Wednesday morning in September and the high summer days of a few weeks ago seem to have ended as abruptly as my glorious beach vacation.  Cue a somber grey world and another workday.  Happily, events are in full swing.   This upcoming weekend is our busiest of 2009 and I spent yesterday phoning all our brides, emailing with coordinators and prepping the shoot teams.   I also spent quite a lot of time yesterday telling brides that rain won’t ruin a wedding day.

Not something anyone working in special events wants to be saying to their clients in the days preceding their very big, very public, very expensive event.   I never deign to say, “it’s good luck to have rain on your wedding day,” but I can honestly report, rain will not ruin your wedding video.  And here’s why.

Rain brings with it an element of romance.  Think Paris, misty streets and love under an umbrella.  Think of huddling under an awning with your lover’s arms wrapped around you.  Think of crackling fires and whispered declarations of love.  Rain has a way of relaxing the masses.  Its maternal voice hums a soft lullaby and creates a natural din one can fold oneself into.  We have captured some spectacular footage over the years of brides under umbrellas, puddles looping outwards in raindrop symphony, and guests peering out windows and enjoying a moment with what seems a solitary world outdoors.  True, an outdoor ceremony moved indoors may not be as gorgeous on film as the original garden might have been, but other beautiful shots will find their way into the piece, compliments of rain.

If you don’t believe me, check out this gorgeous wedding we filmed last year on a rainy day:

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And if that clip didn’t convince you, maybe this will.  On my own wedding day the forecast was for thunderstorms.  Everything was scheduled to be outside; the ceremony, photos, tented reception…the whole shebang!  It turned out to be hotter than Hades and the air was as thick as pea soup, but it never rained a drop.

Videographer or Filmmaker: Which Are We?

Originally posted September 7, 2009. In the field of event videography, some of us choose the word “videographer” and some of us choose the word “filmmaker” to tell other people who we are.  Why is that?  What is the difference?

Haynal Filming 2008

Certainly, the word “videographer” can have some negative connotations.  It sounds less expensive, less talented and perhaps even less tasteful.  But the word “filmmaker”, when applied to filming weddings (for Pete’s sake!), can sound pretentious.  After all, I’m not Steven Spielberg and the average bride is not Meryl Streep (no offense, ladies).   But now that nearly a decade has passed since I first turned my lens on special events, I realize that what we do IS, in fact…filmmaking.  And here’s why.

Working in a one-take environment and creating a beautiful film is an art form.  It takes experienced people with courage and vision to handle the workload.  There are no do-overs for missed shots and there’s no downtime when special moments follow each other in rapid succession.  Add to that the challenge of capturing the moments embedded within each event artistically and in a way that is usable for the editors.  No crazy pans, erratic zooms, and 3-second shots here.  Every shot needs to be controlled, framed, long and beautiful.  At which point the editor must step in and create an engaging film which neither drags, lags, nor flies by too quickly.   It’s not enough for the images to show what occurred.  The images need to encompass a feeling, tell a story and tell it in a way that speaks of talent and style.  This is why your uncle can’t film your event the way we can film your event!

I think that when I started out in this field I didn’t have the courage (and frankly the language wasn’t there) to call myself an event filmmaker and so I started the company as Dolce Video. But now I feel (and the language is there) that the term filmmaker is more apropos.  I recently saw an excellent video discussion with some event filmmakers that really helped me feel more comfortable with the label “filmmaker”.  Check it out here.  (FilmFellas Cast 4, webisode 15).  These people seem really cool and they’re doing what we’re doing.   They seem like my kind of people, if I could be so bold.

I realize that my personal musings on this subject may not have helped you to decide which to hire for your event.  To that end, the word “videographer” or “filmmaker” is not going to tell you what one person or a company of people does.  The only way to know which to hire is to look at the work.  If it looks like something you’ll love watching for years to come, you’re not going to care whether it’s called a video or a film.  And that’s a wrap.


Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me I Looked Like That?

How to Avoid Cringing When You See Yourself on Film… Originally posted September 6, 2009

Anyone who knows me or has met me in person knows that I have slightly crooked teeth.  This was the bane of my existence as a child, but I was raised by Eastern European parents who think it’s vain and self indulgent to spend loads of dough on making your perfectly fine teeth look like a row of Chiclets.  Thanks, mom and dad.

As an adult I’ve thought about straightening my teeth and having a perfect smile, but I really do hate two things:  dentists and change.  As a result, I have come to find my slightly crooked teeth charming and to delude myself (successfully) into believing that they are only slightly crooked.  When Jewel made her snaggletooth famous, I was forever grateful that my own snaggletooth would be the recipient of accolades all its own.  Then I saw my wedding video.

photo by David Madison

Seeing as how I am the OWNER of the company, I decided to review my video before it finalized.   And there, to my horror, was a close-up of my laughing face from the snaggletooth side.    My editor thought the shot was a really soft and pretty shot of me looking sweet.  Again, anyone who knows me knows that a moment of me seeming sweet is a rare shot indeed!  And so the shot was included.  When I looked at the shot, I saw a cackling witch in white – a sham if there ever was one!  Oh, how I suffered to think of anyone seeing me from this side and so I ordered the shot cut from the video, BECAUSE I CAN.

In hindsight, I wish I had put on my dress, shoes, hairpiece and veil, the whole kit and caboodle of my ensemble if you will, and taken photos or video of me just walking around.  Had I done this, I would have moved all three orchids in my bun to one side, I would have placed my veil above my bun instead of below it, and I would not have added the feather hairpiece for the reception.  I also would have STOOD UP STRAIGHT the whole day!  But as they say about hindsight….

If you’ve missed your chance to do a trial run in front of a video camera, as I have, then my advice to you is this:

No matter what, there will be shots of you in the video that you don’t like.  Remember that you are your harshest critic.  You may see your shoulders as stooped, your smile as a cackle, that bug bite (did I mention my bug bite?) as an eyesore, but that’s where the buck stops.  Your friends and family see your vulnerability in your soft smile.  They see confidence in your posture.  They see that bug bite as an emblem of your brazenness and remember how you got it, only two nights before the wedding, while staggering around drunk with your bridesmaids and singing “I’m Every Woman” in a field in West Virginia (don’t ask)!  The people who love you and cherish you and want you to be a part of their lives see sweetness in you and in your life.  And our job is to capture you as you are, to capture your version of the sweet life.

And if that hasn’t convince you, think of this:

In thirty years when your breasts have dropped, your teeth are capped and your thighs will never again see the light of day, you will look back on your video and wistfully recall how gorgeous you once were.

Toe in the Water…

Originally posted September 4, 2009. Dolce Studio FIlms launches a blog – how exciting for us!  The goal of the blog is to have me, Haynal Papp, owner extraordinaire, answer questions, provide useful information about event filmmaking and to entertain and also to provide a forum for our shooters and editors to share their thoughts and experiences.

I have some hesitations; I hope I won’t offend readers with my opinions, my language choices, what have you.  My husband says you can’t have an opinion without offending someone, so I dare say that goal may be a bit unrealistic.   Add to that, I am quite opinionated when I think I know what I’m talking about!

In any case, I hope something of value is offered to our friends in cyberspace and that you enjoy reading the thoughts, musings and experiences of this humble filmmaker.