Tag: stress

The Less Stress Binder

The Less Stress Binder can be chic too!
The Less Stress Binder can be chic too!

As you plan your wedding day, you’re probably starting to gather all your correspondences, ripped out magazine pages and contracts with vendors in a pile somewhere, hoping to keep your ideas and plans together in one place.  While you may not have a problem finding that one important piece of information YET, I recommend reducing your future stresses with, what I call, The Less Stress Binder.  I did this for my own wedding day, and it was a real time saver.  It also saved me from an enormously stressful situation on my wedding day. The flowers arrived.  Dead.  Because my sister-in-law had my version of The Less Stress Binder in her hot little hands, she was able to call the florists, email a photo of the flowers, fax a copy of the contract and have replacements delivered and set out, all before I showed up at the wedding.  I did not learn about the fiasco until after my honeymoon and was saved an enormous amount of stress on my wedding day as a result.

So what is The Less Stress Binder?  Gather all those papers you’ve accumulated and separate them into piles according to vendor category.  Everything cake related goes in the cake section, everything DJ related goes in the music section, everything place card related goes in the stationary section…and so on.  You figure out what divider tabs you need based on what you are planning to hire and incorporate.  Now, when you meet with vendors you have pictures and ideas to show them. As you sign contracts, put the signed contract AT THE FRONT of the section.  Keep the oldest ideas and papers at the back of the section and the newest ones at the front.

Now, here is the best part about the Less Stress Binder project!  On the day of your wedding, give the binder to SOMEONE ELSE and ask them to be in charge of that information and the use of it on the wedding day.  Ideally, you have a planner you can give it to.  If not, chose a friend or relative who you know can handle a stressful situation and be an advocate on your behalf.  My sister-in-law can be really sweet, but she can also be a real battle axe, and that worked out well for me with the flower debacle!

While it may take a little bit of effort to pull The Less Stress Binder together, it could result in being your free pass for enjoying the most out of your Big Day.  And that’s ultimately what it’s all about!

Less Stress Planning & Pleasing

I once heard someone say that the most relaxed brides before the wedding end up being the most stressed brides on the day of the wedding.  Their argument was that those brides hadn’t really finalized a lot of their decisions before the Big Day, so a battery of vendors positing a barrage of questions requiring on the spot answers resulted in a stressed-out bride.  On the other extreme, I’ve worked with brides who have planned their events to such detail that they are married to their idea of the wedding day and there isn’t any room for error, spontaneity or for the groom!  No photographer or filmmaker can improve a pinched smile and stressed face, so what is a bride to do?

There are 2 things you can do to ensure you enjoy your wedding day.  1. Plan ahead.   2. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks (your mother included).

napkins on the side! photo by Stephanie Bridgewater.
Napkins on the side! Photo by Stephanie Bridgewater

Remember that relaxed bride?  She was so easy-going she never thought about whether the napkins would go in the glass or on the plate.   She didn’t count on boutonnieres for the ring boy and ushers, and now her sister-in-law is looking for them everywhere (they don’t exist).   This is the bride whose easy-going attitude is being sabotaged on the very day she needs it most. Deferring all those decisions will rack up a lot of little stresses on the wedding day that will turn your smile into a frown.  Plan these details out in advance so you don’t have to worry about them when you’re supposed to be having fun.

Then there’s the bride who has everything planned to the second.  Her timeline is biblical, because she’s scheduled everything from bathroom breaks to when the lights are turned down.   This bride has become overwrought and overrun by her wedding.  Chances are, it’s because a lot of people are telling her that unless she does x, then y and z will be upset, unimpressed, insulted, etc.  Now, she is worried about pleasing everyone.  Remember that a wedding day is about starting a committed romantic life publicly and employing the support of family and friends in this new union and new chapter.  If they are requiring your support on the day you need theirs, people are going to be disappointed.  Know that you have taken everyone’s input into consideration and planned an event that will address the needs of as many people as possible.  On the day of, enjoy the fruits of your labors and let others worry about the rest.

Through advanced planning and remembering to be pleased by your wedding day and not spend it pleasing others, you can ensure that your big day involves the least amount of stress.  And that’s going to look great in your photos and video!