Originally posted September 23, 2009
In tougher times it can feel wrong to splurge on a wedding. Brides and grooms look over the long list of expenses and wonder how much is enough? The truth of the matter is that people get married regardless of whether it’s the Roaring Twenties or The Great Depression. The economy of love never intersects with Wall Street. As such, today’s couples are still getting married, but today’s brides may be feeling guilty for wanting to spend money on a dream wedding. One of the areas in which they may consider cutting back that budget is on the filming of the event. A memory lasts a lifetime, after all. But cutting video can be a decision you may live to regret, and here’s why.
Most of those couples married in the Roaring Twenties and during the Great Depression had their wedding photograph taken. At the time, it was to great expense and was the height of technological advancement. I have my own tattered copies of relatives long since passed whose fresh flowers and wedding finery have long since disintegrated and yet, there in the sepia outline, in the faintest shadow of recorded light, I see my daughter’s chin. For this reason, these photographs become family heirlooms. What I would not give to be able to see a film of those long ago friends and relatives. To see how they moved, how they danced and laughed, to hear their voices and their declarations of love. To see myself in someone I have never met. This is my personal reason for wishing there were films of these long ago celebrations. But there are still others to consider.
When you are hosting the most expensive party you are ever going to have and it is the only time in your lifetime that all the people you care most about are gathered in one place together, wearing their best clothes and fullest smiles, it is truly a waste not to have a way to go back and see the fruits of your labors when you can best enjoy them: in the peace and quiet of your living room. A wedding day flies by with such tension and speed that it is over before you know it. All those details you spend months planning are unseen by your eyes the day of, when you enter each room last and move through the final hours in autopilot. Your cheeks will hurt from smiling and your stomach will be growling with hunger by the time the speeches start up. It’s really hard to remember what actually happened and what things really looked like. Case in point: the day after my wedding I was bemoaning the fact that I didn’t dance more at my own wedding. After watching my video, I realized I had danced with nearly every guest and for a large part of the night. It was all just too much to remember.
While photographs take a moment and elevate that moment to the status of art, you can never hear your father’s voice again in a photograph. You can’t see the way your mom danced or show your own child how your favorite grandma laughed. It won’t take years for you to regret not having a video. The regrets will start the day after the wedding.