Tag: less stress

Why It’s Easier to Film a Wedding With a Coordinator in Charge

It's so sweet when someone else worries for you.
It's so sweet when someone else worries for you.

While there are plenty of articles out there that will tout the merits of a planner or coordinator, I can attest from personal experience that those weddings with an organized, friendly, calm coordinator at the helm are much easier to capture on film.

A calm person in charge keeps everyone focused on their own role, while they focus on problem solving.  You see, I haven’t been to a wedding yet (my own included), where something didn’t go wrong.   Last week I lunched with one of my favorite coordinators and she told me a story about how the band’s drummer got into a car accident on the way to the wedding.  He was fine, but was running late.  She kept this information under wraps and managed to sneak the drums in the back door during the salad course and the couple was none the wiser.  When her bride and groom bemoaned the fact they hadn’t a souvenir favor or program from their wedding day, she paid out of her own pocket to order an extra set from the manufacturer.  Problems solved.

For those events where there has been no coordinator involved, we have had a much harder time doing our job.  I’ve had my shooters ironing a wrinkled wedding dress, checking on the weather and bringing the DJ food and drinks, just to help things run smoothly when they’re starting to wobble.  Without a coordinator, we often end up having to stay overtime because the schedule runs late and we haven’t filmed the cake cutting when we’re supposed to be leaving.   If you end up paying for all your vendors to stay late, you may as well have hired a coordinator for the money you’d otherwise be spending on surcharges.

If you want to enjoy the most expensive party you’re ever going to throw, then having someone else worry about it for you is just about the nicest thing you can do for yourself.   Your vendors will better be able to bring their true talents to the table and shine (not that we’re not good at ironing).   And that’s a wrap!

For more ideas on how to reduce stress on your wedding day, check out some of our other articles in the Dolce “Less Stress” series!  See the “How to Reduce Stress on Your Wedding Day” category in the right margin.

Less Stress Planning & Pleasing

I once heard someone say that the most relaxed brides before the wedding end up being the most stressed brides on the day of the wedding.  Their argument was that those brides hadn’t really finalized a lot of their decisions before the Big Day, so a battery of vendors positing a barrage of questions requiring on the spot answers resulted in a stressed-out bride.  On the other extreme, I’ve worked with brides who have planned their events to such detail that they are married to their idea of the wedding day and there isn’t any room for error, spontaneity or for the groom!  No photographer or filmmaker can improve a pinched smile and stressed face, so what is a bride to do?

There are 2 things you can do to ensure you enjoy your wedding day.  1. Plan ahead.   2. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks (your mother included).

napkins on the side! photo by Stephanie Bridgewater.
Napkins on the side! Photo by Stephanie Bridgewater

Remember that relaxed bride?  She was so easy-going she never thought about whether the napkins would go in the glass or on the plate.   She didn’t count on boutonnieres for the ring boy and ushers, and now her sister-in-law is looking for them everywhere (they don’t exist).   This is the bride whose easy-going attitude is being sabotaged on the very day she needs it most. Deferring all those decisions will rack up a lot of little stresses on the wedding day that will turn your smile into a frown.  Plan these details out in advance so you don’t have to worry about them when you’re supposed to be having fun.

Then there’s the bride who has everything planned to the second.  Her timeline is biblical, because she’s scheduled everything from bathroom breaks to when the lights are turned down.   This bride has become overwrought and overrun by her wedding.  Chances are, it’s because a lot of people are telling her that unless she does x, then y and z will be upset, unimpressed, insulted, etc.  Now, she is worried about pleasing everyone.  Remember that a wedding day is about starting a committed romantic life publicly and employing the support of family and friends in this new union and new chapter.  If they are requiring your support on the day you need theirs, people are going to be disappointed.  Know that you have taken everyone’s input into consideration and planned an event that will address the needs of as many people as possible.  On the day of, enjoy the fruits of your labors and let others worry about the rest.

Through advanced planning and remembering to be pleased by your wedding day and not spend it pleasing others, you can ensure that your big day involves the least amount of stress.  And that’s going to look great in your photos and video!